You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize