Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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