I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
