she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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