it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
