sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
