The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
