Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sex in a hospital.. check
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
