I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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