champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
