just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
