is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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