I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
