elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
my poor anus
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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