How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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