it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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