I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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