I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
