uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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