rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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