Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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