if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
