I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
