No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
