considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
