I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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