hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
