EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
