At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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