i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
