It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
