there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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