...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so that wasnt chicken after all
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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