My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
