I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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