I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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