i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize