dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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