i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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