I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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