marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
