do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
