i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
