I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
