I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
