No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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