I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize