i think i have herpe
just one?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
