So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
People with herpes should wear stickers.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
