remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
