Rock
Scissors
Fuck
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
