I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
