He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
