your thong is hanging out like whoa
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
