so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
