Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...

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(705): View more from Ontario

Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine

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(818): View more from California

Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.

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(516): View more from New York

He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN

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(469): View more from Texas

Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere

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