just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In other news, I just burned my penis
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
